


A New Start

by romantasha



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Comedy, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Grant Ward goes through TAHITI Protocol, I'm Sorry, Skyeward - Freeform, also can be seen as canon divergent, both skye and ward pov, lots of manipulation and misleading by all characters, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-25 18:41:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3820783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romantasha/pseuds/romantasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He stares at phone for a good minute before he makes his decision. He calls back the number, and doesn't hesitate when she picks up. "I know we just met, basically, but I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee? Or tea...if that's what you're into."</p><p>He's suddenly extremely nervous, because she hasn't said anything. But then...</p><p>"I'd love that."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A new Skyeward AU...Surprise?

_Call all your friends,_  
_Tell them I'm never coming back._  
_'Cause this is the end,_  
_Pretend that you want it, don't react._

-

Three hours.

It’s been three hours since he’d woke up.

There had been this girl staring at him with a small smile on her face within seconds of opening his eyes. “Who are you?” he had asked. She had simply dropped her smile and ran out of the room with tears in her eyes.

Three hours of battling his identity in his mind.

“What’s your name?” the doctor in front of him asks. She’s poking around, checking to make sure he’s okay.

“Grant Ward,” he responds. He knows who he is. He just doesn’t remember who _she_ is. He opens his mouth as she stick her flashlight in.

“Any pain?” He shakes his head. “Feeling funny or any discomfort?” Once again, he shakes his head. “Do you know what happened?” She’s poking around his ribs, making him jump once or twice.

No, he doesn’t.

“You seem good as new,” she says after her investigation. She seems bitter towards him. Why is she bitter towards him? What did he ever do to her?

“What happened to me?” he asks her.

She avoids his gaze. “I’m afraid I can’t be the one to tell you.”

“Then who can?”

Ignoring him, the doctor girl picks up her clipboard and writes a few notes, lost in her own world. She gives him a sort of fake smile--which he returns, hesitantly--and she’s out the door.

Grant Ward sits there for a while, contemplating how he would get ou--

Wait.

Why is he trying to figure out how to get away from the very people helping him?

Unfortunately, he doesn’t have time to delve into his strange inner monologues, because _she_ walks in. She slowly closes the door behind her, her teeth delicately sinking into her lip.

She’s mesmerizing. He feels a pull towards her; one that he can’t seem to escape. It’s driving him crazy: He knows he’s supposed to know her, but he just _doesn’t_.

“I’m Skye,” she tells him. “I was...I was the one who found you,” she tells him carefully.

He can’t place her voice. It sounds so awfully familiar.

“Do you know what happened to me?”

_Ward, I’m so sorr--_

Skye pauses. “No,” she finally says, firmly. “I just...found you and brought you here. To the hospital.” She seems nervous for some reason.

_A compliment and a smile!_

He looks around. It doesn’t seem like a hospital. Then again, he can’t properly remember what a hospital is supposed to look like. “How long was I out for?”

“About three days, give or take.”

_I’m going to throw up._

“Who are you?” he asks again.

“I already told you; I’m Skye.”

He opens his mouth. How was he to phrase it? “I mean; Who are you to me?”

_I want this._

She seems a little hurt, but she wipes it away. “No one. I just found you, that’s it.” Grant looks down at the floor. “Gra--can I call you Grant?”

_Grant, calm down._

“Yeah,” he replies softly. For some reason, it seems to sound like Heaven when she says it. But then--

“Wait, how did you know my name?”

Her eyes widen. “I--uh--” She smiles sheepishly. “I...I found your wallet when I brought you to the hospital. You know, since they needed your info?” It sounds more like a question, but he lets it slide.

“Oh.” The silence is awkward. “Um, can I see it?”

“See what?”

“My wallet.”

“Oh!” Skye exclaims. “No!”

He raises his eyebrows. “Wha--Why not?”

“I think Simmons took it. You know, for medical stuff.”

“Simmons?”

“Jemma…” she trails off, expecting him to get it.

He doesn’t. “Who’s Jemma?”

She seems disappointed, but she smiles anyways. “She’s the doctor that checked up on you.” She bows her head. “She said that the whole memory thing,” She points at her head to enforce her point, “will get better in a few days. You went through some trauma thing which jumbled up your memories or something.”

Why does he feel so paranoid? Grant Ward isn’t paranoid.

“Do you remember anything from before the accident?”

Grant shrugs. “I think I worked at some...museum? I remember working night shifts as security.”

She opens her mouth, but then she brings her teeth to a small grind. “That’s...good,” she concludes. “Remembering your past is...good.” It doesn’t sound too good to her. “Coulson said he’d come talk to you once you felt better.”

“Who’s Coulson?” he automatically questions.

“He’s, uh, the guy who knows what exactly happened to you. He was with you when it happened, I think.”

Someone knocks on the glass. “Sorry to eavesdrop on you two lovebirds,” says the man, “but Coulson would rather see this lad sooner than later.”

“I was getting there, Hunter.” Skye shakes her head. The man named Hunter shrugs his shoulders and walks away. “That man infuriates me.” She looks at him. “Come on, I’m guessing Coulson will be able to fill up your missing gaps.”

Grant stands up slowly. Skye purses her lips and opens the door, letting him go through first. He follows her down the corridors. “Didn’t you say this was supposed to be a hospital?” he points out skeptically, circling around as he analyzes the brick structure.

Skye blushes. It’s quite adorable, he thinks. “Or sorts,” she replies sheepishly.

She’s lying to him and he knows it, but somehow he still feels the will to trust her with all his heart.

They finally walk up to a flight of stairs, where she stops. “This is where I leave you. Coulson’s office is the door right up at the top.”

He looks up the menacing stairwell nervously. He begins to walk up to the office, but then he turns back. “Is there any chance I can get your number?” he calls out to Skye. He knows it’s utterly ridiculous. He barely knows her! And she barely knows him, as she claims. But he thinks that it’s a sign that he’s already halfway in love with this intriguing girl after talking to her for a total of fifteen minutes. He might as well give it a shot.

“Oh! Er...” She seems a little taken aback by the request. Then, she flashes him a smile. “I’ll contact you,” she smirks suspiciously. He begins to walk over to her to give her his number (Does he even remember his number? Does he even have a number?), but she holds her hand up as a signal to stop. “I have my ways.” Skye trots away with a little jump to each step.

Grant wasn’t sure if that was the world’s most beautiful rejection or if she just likes to be mysterious. He hopes it’s the latter.

-

Coulson’s office was a strange little den. It was messy, but everything had its place; for some reason it felt very homey; and for some reason he thought he could hear the scratches of a record player. He walks around slowly, looking for the man he was sent to talk to.

“Grant Ward,” a voice exclaimed, “I’ve been expecting you.” The chair at the desk swirled around to reveal an older man with a friendly smile on his face. “Wow, that was more fun than it should’ve been. Did you know I’ve been waiting years to try that on someone?”

He’s a bit startled. “No, sir, I did not.”

Sir?

Where did that come from?

“Please, call me Coulson.” Grant’s not sure what to think. The man stands up, pushing his chair back to give him room to walk around the desk. “So, Grant Ward, I’ve heard that your memory is a bit fuzzy.”

He turns slightly to face the man more fully. “And I’ve heard you know why it’s as it is.”

Coulson moved his head a little to the side in a curious fashion. “I’ll be blunt with you, Grant. This, here, is a little bit of an underground operation. I’ll explain now that if any of this gets out, it’ll be your head.”

“Is that a threat?” Grant glares at him dangerously.

“No, not at all! I just needed to remind you with a little force since you seem to be a little wack. You did some work with us during the past couple of days, then you fell down a flight of stairs--lots of screams and blood; not a pretty sight--and here we are now. Dr. Simmons said that the memory loss is merely from shock, and that it should be fully restored within the week. You’re definitely a trooper.”

“So, if I’m going to remember everything soon enough, why bother telling me all this now?” he questions.

“I think it’s in both of our interests if you go back to where you belong. You: Who wouldn’t want to go home? As for me, well, we can’t have you knowing too much about this place. What you already know--without the memory loss, that is--is quite enough. You already pledged secrecy, but we needed to be sure.” Coulson leans a little to partially sit on the desk. “So, who are you?”

“Grant Ward, Agent of--” He stops himself. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t what I was going to say. I must’ve watched too many Bond movies.”

Coulson doesn’t seem to care. “You’re Grant Ward from New York City. You had a bit of a troubled childhood, with your parents dying in that car accident and all that, and were shipped off to military school. You made a damn good soldier. But then you retired, and you went off to work--”

“--as a nighttime security guard at the Smithsonian; specifically the Captain America exhibit,” Grant finishes. “I know my story. I don’t need what sounds awfully like a character summary being thrown at me.”

“I’m merely just reminding you of who you are, since you seemed like you needed it.”

Suddenly, he realizes that before Coulson started talking, he didn’t know any of it. It just rushed into him, and it was as if he never forgot it at all. He remembers everything. He remembers Coulson picking him up outside his apartment and begging for his help. It was something about his department at the museum, and he knew in great detail everything about the place. He remembers trying to get Coulson to a certain location, missing a step, and falling the rest of the way down. He faintly remembers the blooming pain and when he had been about ready to pass out, he heard a heavenly voice. It was Skye. Just like she said. She found him, with no clue of what had happened. “I’m afraid you were mistaken,” he says quickly.

Coulson stares hard at him, but then relents. “Alright then, Mr. Ward. Looks like we’re good to go.” He presses his fingers against his ear, and then says, “Yeah, he’s ready. Bring around the car.”

“I’m guessing this will be the last time we see each other,” states Ward.

“Most definitely so,” Coulson replies. “I never break a promise.” He’s smiling, and it shakes Grant down in his bones. This man was very joyful at the thought that he’d never see him again.

But this is what Grant Ward wants. He wants to go back home. He wants to go back to his normal life; to his modest apartment, decent job, his loving dog, and easy living. It may be simple, but it makes him happy.

Even though he had only spent a few days with this so-called S.H.I.E.L.D., he knows that his simple and lonely life is a much better alternative than a complicated and still lonely life that the organization seemed to upon. He hopes that he never crosses paths with them again.

Except for Skye. (He now realizes that he’s not sure if she’s actually an agent, or she’s just there.)

What was her deal anyways?

-

Coulson had suggested for him to take a few days off work, and Grant agreed. He felt extremely exhausted and a few days of good rest could never hurt.

He was welcomed by a furry friend as soon as his key (He managed to find it in his old coat.) turned the lock. "Hey, Buddy!" He was suddenly concerned. Has he been fed? But then Grant noticed that his food bowl was full.

Grant had spent a couple days lounging around with his lab, watching football and playing a few one-sided board games. (He certainly was not waiting for a certain beautiful girl to contact him.)

Now, he's bored, but there's a light buzzing against the table. It's his cellphone, and an unknown number is calling. He picks it up hopefully. "Hello?"

"Ward?" It's her.

_I thought..._

_It's okay. I'm okay._

"Skye." He keeps his voice even, but he's got this giant grin on his face. He doesn't know how she manages it.

"I wanted to check to see how you were doing," she supplies.

"Good! I'm doing much better than before," he tells her. "Hey, I wanted to thank you for finding me. Apparently, Coulson isn't the most attentive to when someone's hurt."

"It was nothing," she says quietly. "He can be a little...insensitive. He probably just thought you were just a little in pain, you know?"

"Yeah...So is this your number?"

_You are so predictable!_

"No, I'm calling you from a payphone," Skye says in a flat voice. "Of course it's my phone! If I didn't want you to have my number, I wouldn't have called you at all," she tells him like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

He blushes, slightly embarrassed. "Well, I'm glad you called."

There's a small pause. "I'm glad you're feeling better. And I should probably go; let you get back to life," she says.

_Be careful._

He feels a little sad,--because he likes talking to her, and plus he has nothing to do--but, "So this is my personal cell; feel free to call or text whenever."

_You too._

Grant smiles at that. "I may just take you up on that." He hears a little giggle and then a click that lets him know that she's hung up.

Why does he like her so much? He barely knows her, and she's not his type. (He won't deny she's beautiful and amazing, but he's not really into heartfelt relationships, yet he wants that with her?)

He stares at phone for a good minute before he makes his decision. He calls back the number, and doesn't hesitate when she picks up. "I know we just met, basically, but I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee? Or tea...if that's what you're into."

He's suddenly extremely nervous, because she hasn't said anything. But then...

"I'd love that."

(She also tells him, "Coffee. You're buying.")

-

Not even two hours later, Grant walks down to his favourite little cafe where he said he'd meet Skye. Sure enough, she's already there. Her hair is done up, but she's pretty casual overall. So is he, but he might've spent a full hour and a half figuring out how to part his hair right. She waved at him with a nervous grin on her face, (Oh, thank God, it's not just him!) and he smiles at her. "Hi!" he grins as he walks up to her.

"Fancy meeting you here!" He laughs along with her at her cheesy joke. It's cute.

He's not sure what he's supposed to do after that. Usually people would hug each other, but for a first date with such a stranger, it seems odd.

(Wait. Are they on a date? Or a friendly get-together? He hadn't bothered to specify when he asked; he just wanted to spend time with her.)

Skye seems to be a little more comfortable with the situation though, because she puts a hand on his arm and tells him to lead the way. He does, and he also opens the door for her. "After you, Ma'am," he jokes. She throws her head back and laughs heartily, and walks into the cafe.

For some reason, the whole ordeal feels way too familiar. He rubs it off as deja vu as they sit down at a booth near the window. (He goes this place every morning. Of course it's familiar!)

The waiter comes over and takes their order, leaving the two of them to themselves.

“You seem to be doing a lot better,” she points out.

He shrugs. “Yeah, I feel it. It’s odd though. I remember my head splitting open and laying in all the blood, but there’s not even a scratch left.” She grimaces, and he backtracks. “Oh God, I didn’t mean--I mean that’s a bit...gruesome.”

Skye laughs. “It’s okay, I’m used to it. Working with Coulson kind of has its fair share of blood and ick.”

“How is that, by the way?” When she gives him a sympathetic look, he gets it. “Right, you can’t tell me or you’ll have to kill me.”

“I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s just that I _can’t_.”

He nods. “It’s okay, I get it.”

She seems surprised by his words.“I like seeing this side of you,” she tells him. 

“Is there another side?” he asks her, curious.

_How can you tell, superspy?_

She freezes. “No! It’s just that,” she pauses, “You just seemed a lot brulier when I saw you in the hospital. You know, before you woke up. You scrunch your brow in your sleep.”

He raises his eyebrow. “You were watching me sleep?”

She rubs the back of her neck nervously. “No…?” she lies.

He laughs at her. “I’ll take it as a compliment.”

She looks sheepish.

“So, who is the girl behind the mask?” He grins.

Skye blushes. “There’s not that much to know. I mean, stuff that isn’t classified information.”

_I'm just trying to have an honest conversation for once._

“I doubt that.” She shrugs. Grant tilts his head. “What about hobbies? Favourite colours? What kind of movies you like? Funny childhood stories? There has to be some stuff that isn’t bound by secrecy.” She seems a little sad, so he stops. “My middle name is Douglass. I really like dogs. I don’t get why black isn’t considered a favourite colour.” (Skye laughs at that one.) “I’m oddly intrigued by war movies, even though I was a soldier myself. Apparently, liking them isn’t normal for ex-veterans. My family sucked. Except my sist--”

“I’m an orphan,” she says. He’s about to apologize for bashing his own family (Seems kind of rude to talk about a family in front of someone who never had one, no matter how horrible they might be.) before she smiles brightly. “I mean, I found my family after I grew up. My mom is pretty great. And young. Very beautiful. My dad is a little psycho, though. I mean, I think I understand him now. My mom explained that losing me drove them both over the edge. My favourite colour is blue. Or purple; I like both. And I really love…”

They talk and talk, giving each other little facts about their lives. Nothing work-related from either part, but rather about their interests. He finds out about the little things. Her favourite flowers are tulips, her birthday is July 2nd, she spent her life thinking she was one year younger than she actually was… (She’s pretty vague about most things. He thinks he likes the mystery, though.)

It’s refreshing finding out about someone else’s life rather than his own.

_Hail Hydra._

-

By the time they’re all done, it’s dusk. He hadn’t realized how much time had gone by, and neither did she, but they were too wrapped up in each other to care.

Grant stuffs his hands into his jean pockets. “Maybe we can do this another time?”

“Yeah,” she grins, “I’d like that.”

He’s giddy because he likes her and she probably/might like him. “Can I walk you home?” he asks, then he realizes. “Or walk you to your ride?”

She smiles and shakes her head. “I’m all good. Thank you though.” She seems to hesitate, but then she leans in and kisses the corner of his mouth. “I’ll call you later, ‘kay?” He nods, slightly speechless.

When she smiles and face away from him, he smiles about the kiss.

It was so incredibly brief, but it’s enough.

_You’re different._

Grant Ward really thinks that he could have a future with Skye.

-

Later that night, a shadow dances across Coulson’s office. He looks up, surveying the area. Then, he noticed who the figure is. “Skye...” he calls out cautiously.

Before he can finish his warning, she rushes forward, seething, and slams her evidence onto the desk in front of him. “This is _wrong_ ,” she snarls at the Director.

-

_The damage is done._  
_The police are coming too slow now._  
_I would have died;_  
_I would have loved you all my life._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grant Ward didn’t remember her, and it made her want to shatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A swifty update, hallelujah! I’m glad that you guys are liking the story. This chapter clears a couple things up regarding the situation. Enjoy!

  
_Would you mind if I hurt you?_  
_Understand that I need to._  
_Wish that I had other choices_  
_than to harm the one I love._  


-

Grant Ward didn’t remember her, and it made her want to shatter.

Their past was difficult and a bit _distasteful_ , but Skye never wished this on him. And especially right after…

She shakes her head from the grueling thoughts. She can’t think like that. She’s got to focus on the present.

The thing is, the present is him. Possibly falling in love with her all over again. It’s so _wrong_.

But she really loves him,-- _damnit, she should’ve told him before he thought he lost everything and went through that stupid machine_ \--so she looks past it. She can be happy with him. With this him.

Even though it’s not really _him_. She can make him back into Grant Ward. Somehow.

That’s how she finds herself at his apartment door the night after the cafe. She had gone on a lovely date with him (Was it a date? She’s not even sure, but she hopes it was.) and she promised to call back. This wasn’t quite calling back, but it was a nice equivalent, right?

Right?

After standing at his door for a good minute, she raises her hand to knock. Her knock is light and tentative, but it takes only a few long seconds for a dashing (not) Grant Ward to open the door. He looks a bit surprised, but the corners of his mouth move up and he’s wearing the biggest smile she’s ever seen. “Hey!”

Skye smiles back at him. “Hi!” She pulls a bottle of scotch from behind her. “Can I buy you a drink?”

She pretends like she’s never used that line on him. _It’s a new start. It’s a new start for them both._

Something flashes in his eyes (She thinks it’s confusion. A part of her hopes that it’s a memory.) but then he opens the door wider so that she can slip her way inside. He grabs the drink from her hands and they walk into the apartment together. Then, a creature bound towards her and jumps. She hears Grant screaming, “Buddy!” but the lab’s already propped up his front paws on her outstretched hands.

“Hi there, big guy!” she giggles. She maneuvers a hand to scratch the back of his ear. She notices Grant staring at her with adoration from the corner of her eye. She gently put the pup back down on the ground. “Cute dog,” she states.

“Yeah, he keeps good company,” Grant says, still a little dazed. He shakes his head quickly and asks, “Uh, hey, how did you know where I live?”

Skye perks up. _Whoops._ It’s not exactly like she could tell him that SHIELD actually owned the apartment, and she had spent a good deal of time decorating it while he was in a coma. She looks at him. “Well, um...You said yesterday that you lived a few blocks?” He still seems skeptical, so she says quickly. “I hacked your info from the hospital records.”

Nailed it.

Grant raises his eyebrows. “ _Hacked?_ ”

She looks down sheepishly. “I’m good with computers. Like, weirdly good.”

“I thought you were weirdly good at Battleship,” he laughs.

Skye freezes. How did he…? “What?” she croaks out.

“Yesterday you were bragging about your Battleship superiority.”

“Oh.”

Right.

He walks to the closet and rummages through it. She hears some jingling before he pulls out a board game. She gapes at it. She’d almost forgot that she put basically everything that reminded her of him in the apartment. “I’d like to challenge you at that. Because, believe it or not, I’m amazing at Battleship.”

She scoffs at that. “I’d like to see you try,” she says with a smirk. She walks over and grabs the game from his hands, her eyes never leaving his. He visibly gulps.

Skye walks up to couch and begins setting the game up. A minute later, Grant joins her with two glasses and the bottle of scotch. He pours her a glass, and she smiles. “Thanks, turbo,” she lets slip. Oh God, she hopes he didn’t catch that.

-

Later, she goes to Coulson. “This is _wrong_ ,” she snarls. She’s furious that she’s even in this position. She loves Grant Ward; she never signed up for falling in love with the fake one all over again. If only she had--

Coulson snatches the paper she was holding. It’s the official report of Grant’s _conditioning_. “He went through TAHITI Protocol with his own free will.”

“You didn’t give him a choice, dammit!”

Coulson sets the paper down and folds his hands over his stomach, leaning back in his chair. “I gave him an option.”

Skye rolls her eyes angrily. “It was brainwashing or _death_ , Coulson. That isn’t much of a choice.” Coulson stares her down. “You could’ve kept him on the team. He was doing so well, and even Fitz was starting to warm up to him again.”

Coulson begins to sort through some of his papers. Finally, he hands a slightly crumpled (and tear-stained?) resignation letter. “It’s Grant’s,” she says. Coulson nods. She looks at the date. “This was right after Kara--”

“Yup.”

Skye begins to tear up a little. She’s also furious, because Coulson didn’t have to _wipe_ him. He would’ve kept his mouth shut about SHIELD. He was a part of their team.

Coulson shakes his head. “Oh, come on. We all saw it coming. He and Kara weren’t going to work out anyways. He was in love with y--”  
“Don’t,” Skye spits out. How dare he? _How dare he?_ He didn’t even know what happened and why. She fists her hands, and the room begins to shake. “He might not loved her as much as she loved him, but he did care for her. He was allowed to hurt!”

Coulson gapes. “I didn’t mean…” He seems to ponder for a moment. “You still love him, don’t you.”

The shaking begins to reside. “No,” she responds firmly.

Coulson stands up. “Skye, I know you two started getting close again before TAHITI. Even Kara was joking about how long it was until you two got together,” She looks a bit guilty.

She slumps down into the chair. “I was going to tell him when Jemma came to me with the news of...well, you know.” She lets her face fall into her hands.

Coulson kneels down beside her. “Tell him what, Skye? That you loved him?”

She shakes her head. “No.” She lifts her head up and looks at him in desperation. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, rocking herself.

“What happened, Skye?” Coulson asks firmly.

She looks him straight in the eye. “It’s all my fault.”

-

__  
_Skye laughs as Grant rolls on top of her and slants his lips over hers. “Even I’m tired after that, Robot,” she giggles, but then returns the kiss. She sighs in content and tangles her hand in his hair._

_He pulls away from her and whispers, “I love you.”_

_“I, uh...” She wriggles a little bit._

_He sighs, kissing her forehead. “It’s okay. I wasn’t expecting you to say it back.”_

_She bites her lower lip. “I’m sorry. It’s just that--”_

_He kisses her again, briefly, to shut her up. “I get it. I’m not a good guy.”_

_She still hasn’t brought herself to completely forgive him. She knows he’s trying, and she’s definitely not bitter towards him, but sometimes she remembers what he did and she has to take a minute._

_She looks apologetic, but she moves to kiss him again before the door slams open. Grant jumps off of her and she pulls the sheets to cover her chest. “Fitz!” they scream at the same time. Fitz looks straight at them, but he doesn’t even seem fazed. (She would assume Fitz would run screaming then come back when they were fully clothed so that he could demand for an explanation.)_

_Which means something’s wrong._

_Skye feels like she can’t breathe. They’ve found her. They’re going to figure it out. Grant’s never going to forgive her. Hell, no one is ever going to forgive her._

_Grant sits up straighter. “Fitz? What is it?”_

_She’s done a terrible thing; that’s what’s it._

_It was an accident, she cries to herself. She didn’t mean to hurt anyone._

_Fitz takes a deep breath. “It’s Kara.”_

_Kara’s dead, and it’s all her fault.  
_

-

“I’m the reason he even ended up trying to leave,” she weeps. “He thought Kara was his fault. He thought it was his fault when it was mine. But it was an accident, I swear. I thought she was okay; I didn’t realize...”

“What happened?” Coulson asks softly.

Skye sighs. “She, um...she found out that Ward and I were sleeping together,” Skye starts. Coulson seems furious--she never told him--but she just shrugged at him. “We were in the middle of--” Coulson gave a look of grimace, so she avoids it. “She walked in, saw us, and she ran out crying her eyes out. Grant tried to go after her, but she was already gone. She was the one who broke up with him, and he didn’t realize that she did it because of me. Not until then.” She rubs on her eyes slightly. “She disappeared for a few days. You know how she’d wander off every time she didn’t agree with you. We assumed it was the same thing, so we didn’t go looking for her. Grant said that she just needed to blow off some steam.”

She sniffles. “About a week after that, she came back. We were in the middle of a mission, and apparently she came to say goodbye to Grant. She had brought him a letter and everything. It wasn’t supposed to be a suicide note. But she saw me and she was pissed. She attacked me and I freaked. We...we were on the third story and I sent her flying out the window.”

“Oh, Skye…”

“And then I ran. I was so scared of what I might have done. Grant was done with the mission and I took us up to the quinjet as fast as possible. A part of me was hoping that she was okay, so I didn’t say anything. And then when you found the report of what happened and assumed that the letter was a suicide note, I didn’t correct you. I was so selfish. I was so caught up in not getting in trouble that I let everyone believe that she killed herself.” Skye lets out a big sob. “Grant thought it was all his fault. He broke it off with me and then the next thing I knew Jemma was telling me about how he was in the hospital…” She can’t breathe. She gasps through the tears and closes her eyes.

Coulson wraps his hands around her. “It’s okay.”

She wrenches herself from his grasp. “No,” she cries out, “I’m a monster.”

“What you did was horrible, but it doesn’t make you a monster,” he tells her. “Your actions made you more human than ever. You were scared, you feel guilt. You’re not a monster.” She cries against his shoulder. “There’s no knowing what she could’ve done to you. She was a good person, but people will go great lengths when they’re angry. It’s time to forgive yourself. You may never forget, but at least give yourself the peace of mind.”

Skye nods against him.

But she knows that she’s a horrible person.

-

She goes to see Grant again.

She knows she really _shouldn’t_. She’s going to have no choice but to break it off with him if SHIELD ever found out about them. She would have to break his heart. (And her own, but she refuses to think about that.

Right now, she doesn’t care. Because no matter how guilty she feels when she’s around him, he brightens up her day by so much more.

As soon as he opens the door, she blurts out, “I really like you. Let’s go out on a proper date.”

“Wha--Right now?” he cries out in surprise.

“I was kind of hoping for a response more like, ‘I really like you too. I know this restaurant you might like,’” she supplies.

Grant grins at her. “I thought me liking you was a given,” he says cheekily. “But if we weren’t dating already, then what was going on before?”

She shrugs. “We never said we were exclusive, nor did you technically ask me out in the first place.”

“I figured coffee was a date thing.”

“Friends could go out for coffee too,” she points out. “Come on,” she grabs his hand, “I like Italian food.” He grabs his coat and they’re out the door.

She’s right. He does know a good place. She laughs when he tells her. (It’s takeout, though. He hopes she doesn’t mind. She claims that she wasn’t in a fancy enough outfit anyways.)

It turns out he was talking about a fair. She loves fairs.

They walk down the street holding hands. She’s feeling oddly _normal_ like this. At one point he gets her cotton candy and feeds it to her. It makes her giggle; she’s loving every minute of it. She even pulls him towards a game booth where you shoot the bottles. He’s amazed when she’s able to hit all of the targets perfectly (and the game watcher thinks that she’s cheating, but she won fair and square). She makes him try, but he denies.

“I don’t like guns,” he tells her, “Even if they’re fake.”

Skye’s heart falls a little at that. It reminds her that TAHITI wiped it all out of him, and that it’s not really Grant Ward. But she forgets when the game watcher hands her a giant monkey as a prize. “Fitz will love this!” she screams, her face blocked by the stuffed monkey.

Next, they go on the ferris wheel. It looks kind of comical, since they have a giant stuffed monkey stuck between the two of them.

“Hey Skye?”

“Hm?” She’s looking out over Washington. She wonders if she can see the barren area of where the Playground is from it.

Grant grabs her hand to gain her attention. She looks at him. “I’m glad you found me, that day. And stayed. And checked up.” Her stomach twists. It’s all lies, but she listens. “It’s only been a week, but I feel like I’ve known you for a lot longer than that.”

 _You have_ , she thinks to herself.

He continues, “I really like you. I figured I should tell you since you gave this big declaration earlier.”

“I really like you too, Grant,” she smiles.

He grabs her face to kiss her, and it would’ve been some grand and romantic gesture if he had been able to reach her without trouble. But, here they were, with a monkey in between them, preventing them from having their big moment. She laughs and adjusts the monkey to be stuffed down at their feet. Grant seems a bit embarrassed, so she reassures him by grabbing his jacket and pulling him towards her. He kisses her wholeheartedly, and she’s more than glad to comply.

When they get back to the apartment, Skye lets him whisper sweet nothings into her ear. She pulls him inside, slamming him against the door so that she can press herself to him. “I want this,” she whispers. He grins twirls them around so that she’s the one pressed into the wall.

It’s not like they haven’t done this before. (And then she remembers that _he_ hasn’t, technically. She pushes that thought aside.)

She can let herself be happy. Just this once.

-

__  
_She blinks nonstop when she first wakes up. The lights were so incredibly blinding. But she’s managed to keep her eyes open long enough to notice there was someone else in the room with her. “Hello?” She realizes her voice is nearly nonexistent. Only a rasp croak comes out._

_The figure walks over to hand the girl water. She gulps it up greedily and whispers a thank you. She squints her eyes and sees Director Coulson looming over her. “Where am I?” she asks him. When the Director gives no response, she asks a different question. “Where is Grant?”_

_“He’s dead,” Coulson replies. Suddenly the air is gone and she’s gasping. She leans over the side of the bed to heave. Her heart is sporadically._

_“No…” she whispers. It can’t be true. It just can’t be._

_“Was it her?” she asked. “Was it her fault?”_

_She’s beyond pissed when he doesn’t respond. Grant Ward is dead and she needs to know what happened._

_“Coulson, did Skye have anything to do with his death?”_

_He looks at her, and stands up. “I’m sorry, Kara,” he says. And then he walks out the door to let her mourn on her own.  
_

-

  
_I, I've been waiting for someone like you._  
_But now you are slipping away...Oh!_  
_Why, why does fate make us suffer?_  
_There's a curse between us, between me and you._  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, each and every comment inspires me to write! I love seeing compliment, constructive criticism, theories… 
> 
> A comment a day keeps the writer at bay! (Look at me, being so clever. I seriously made that up on the spot.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More and more fluff. It keeps building up! Also, there’s some more smexy references for this chapter, so I bumped the rating up a little. I actually think that smut would be fitting for this story, but I’m not much of a writer for it (I can, but I usually don’t see it as a plot necessity). So, I’m leaving it up to you guys. Let me know in the comments if you’d like me to include smexy times in the story. xD

  
_How much more can we take,_   
_If I give you a taste,_   
_I've been waiting for you all night long,_   
_I come around and then I'm gone._   


-

Kara looks around in her little room. “Coulson?”

“Yes?” The man in question turns to her.

“Can you tell me what happened to Grant?”

Coulson sighs. “Kara…”

She stops him. “I need to know.”

He stares at her hard and long before taking a deep breath. “After your...accident, he got a little upset,” he starts out truthfully. “He blamed himself, and he threw himself into his work. You know how he is.”

Tears fill her eyes. “So it was my fault?” she cries out.

Coulson steps forward to comfort her. “No. No, it wasn’t. Don’t think like that, Kara.” He pulls her into an embrace. “He saved me by taking a bullet. He was a brave man, and he risked everything.”

“I didn’t even get to tell him that all I wanted was for him to be happy.” Kara sobs against him. She pulls away. “Sir, what about Sky--”

“She’s as devastated as you are. I think she’d do anything to go back and change it.”

“No, I meant...I meant about what happened to me. It was Skye.”

There was a long pause, then a sharp intake of breath. “I know.”

Kara’s a bit surprised. “How did that go over?” With Grant, she means. How did Grant react to his lover being a killer? Coulson figured it out.

“He never knew.”

Kara cries out, as if in pain. She never really had anything against Skye. Sure, she was a bit jealous of her; not only because she was the one to win Grant’s heart (Honestly, she thought she was fine with it. She was glad Grant was happy. Not with her, but nonetheless. It wasn’t until she walked in on them having sex did she realize how much she really did care.), but because she was just a damn good person. At least, Kara thought she was.

Kara knew it was all her fault. She had been the one to attack Skye--it wasn’t to seriously maim (She just needed a good punching bag.), but a threat nonetheless. She should’ve known better than to run after an enhanced person.

She understands that it was a mistake (the brief look of horror flashing on Skye’s face was evidence of that), but not telling Grant wasn’t.

Coulson sinks down onto his knees. “I think that was her biggest regret.” He reaches a hand out for her to take, which she does. He lifts her back up. “She was going to tell him. She was on her way to tell him what had really happened when she found out that Ward was gone.” Coulson sat them both on the makeshift bed. “I wish I could’ve done things differently. I admit that I made a mistake with Ward. I thought of him too much as an expendable. I let my personal biases against him cloud the realization that people still cared about him. I did too, but only as a good agent. He was a good man, and I was the first on the team to see that, but I didn’t push it further. Soon enough, the team surpassed me in forgiveness.”

Kara nods at his words. “He was the best. And I think letting him back on the team led him to be the happiest man on Earth. Thank you for that,” she says.

Coulson gives her a sad smile. “He once asked me to look after you, and I told him I would. I intend to fulfill that promise.”

-

**Three Months Later**

Skye giggles as she feels him kiss down her body. “Grant, I’m serious,” she says in between breaths, “I need to go soon.” She moans in content when he slides his body against hers, kissing her on the lips. “Soon-ish,” she corrects when they break apart for air.

She always has to carefully plan their meetings. She knows there’s little chance of her being summoned to a mission (if she is, she has a system of excuses). Her main worry is morning training with May. She misses that, and _everyone_ will know she’s out and about. And then there’s the dilemma of Grant’s work, which takes up half the day (including night time) four times a week. With the days (or nights, as in this occasion) they manage to have some time to themselves, she’s thankful that Grant doesn’t mind getting up early, because right now it’s four in the morning, and she’d be awfully disappointed if she didn’t get a proper goodbye from him.

He lifts himself off her just long enough to tell her, “I had the most amazing dream last night.”

“Hm? And what was that?” she asks.

“The two of us were in a hotel in Paris, and…” He leans forward to whisper a few things in her ear that made her blush. She bites her lip, but a moan still manages to slip out, and his fingers teasing her upper thigh wasn’t helping her case.

Grant moves aside to lay down next to her, and she props herself onto her shoulder. “I feel like we should be able to have a nice morning to ourselves,” he tells her. “You know? Enjoy some time to ourselves, go out for brunch…” _Like a normal couple_ floats silently in the room.

She leans down to rest her head on his chest. “Maybe one day we will. But right now my team is suspicious enough, and I don’t think they’ll take us too kindly.”

He plays with her hair. “Yeah, yeah. Dating unknown variables aren’t good. You’ve told me before. I could be, I dunno, Hydra or something.”

She flies up and looks at him sternly. “Don’t joke about that.” She knows it’s not a possibility,--not anymore--but it’s simply a painful reminder of the past.

He gives her an apologetic look, but smiles. “Do you think you can take a sick day? Or a day off?”

She shakes her head at him. “I mean, I could try to figure out some excuse. And plus there’s only a…” Skye’s a little distracted when he moves to kiss her neck. “Umm...only a small chance--oh!--that May will...let me sit out…” She sighs and with a hand on her lip, pulls her flush against him. “No. Marks,” she tells him sternly. She feels him nod against her neck. (He always makes some anyways, but she can’t complain when he seems to so strategically place them.)

She groans when he pulls away from her. “How about tonight?” he tells her. “Well, tomorrow morning would be the extra bit,” he winks. At her skeptical look, he probes on. “Hey, it’d be romantic. It’s our three-month anniversary.” (Count on him to be the sappy romantic to remember that. Who even celebrates a three-month anniversary?)

Skye grins at him. “I’ll see what I can do.”

He presses a kiss to her forehead. “Meet me at five?”

“That’s a bit early,” she points out.

He shrugs. “I have things planned,” he says mysteriously.

She gets up from the bed, and searches around Grant’s room for his underwear. He gives her the saddest look, so she leans forward to give him a passionate kiss. “Hey, babe, can’t wait for tonight,” she allures. She saunters towards the pile of clothes and tauntingly shimmies on her pants. Grant seems absolutely tortured, so she laughs and puts the rest of her clothes on. She walks out the room and grabs her bag from the living room. “See ya!” she yells as she walks out the door.

Skye has this system where she fixes herself up on the way to the base. Her bag has workout clothes in it, so she changes in the taxi on the way to the edge. (She’s caught the drivers staring once or twice before, but she’s more concerned with getting to training on time without suspicion than a few perverts in the world.) She also has a brush to make her hair seem presentable. She keeps a spray to make sure she doesn’t smell...Anyways, it’s foolproof. She knows that.

She runs into the base and relaxes. She’s gotten away again and--

“Hello, Skye,” she hears.

“Oh!” Skye yells. “Jemma!” She laughs nervously. “What are you doing?”

Jemma crosses her arms with a smirk on her face. “I knew it! You’ve been shnazling with some guy!”

“Shnazling?”

The scientist waves it off. “Just a silly word. But seriously? What’s his name? How did you meet? Is he good in bed?”

“Jemma!” she cries out. She rubs the back of her neck nervously. “Yes, he is,” she tells her friend, “But it’s _just_ a small fling,” she lies. “Nothing serious.”

She smiles sadly. “I’m glad you’re happy, then,” she says, “After that _thing_ with Ward…” She seems absolutely disgusted by the thought of it.

“Fitz told you?”

“Eventually,” Simmons replied. “You know, he actually _forgot_!” she exclaims. “I know we were dealing with a lot but how do you forget how your best friend was sleeping with the enemy?”

Skye looks down guiltily.

“Aw, Skye,” she says, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know, Jem.”

“I always will trust you, but getting with Ward was just a bad judgement call.”

Skye nods, and opportunity struck. “Oh! Do you think you could do me a favour?” Jemma smiles encouragingly. “Do you think you could diverge May from training--or wanting to see me, for that matter--tomorrow morning? The guy seems like he really wants to spend the day with me after the night of, and I think I’m running out of excuses.”

“Oh, Skye, I’m terrible at--”

“Please!” she begs. “Just make papers saying that you want to do a few tests and have Fitz send it in or something!”

“Oh, alright,” Simmons says. “But you _owe_ me.”

“Always,” Skye grins.

-

Skye arrives promptly at five o'clock. Grant smiles and runs to the door. Seeing her, he takes her hand and locks the door. "Come on, let's go."

_We need to go right now._

"Go where?"

"You'll see," he smirks.

They walk down to the garage where he parks his car. He fumbles through his pockets to find his keys. "Get in!"

She pulls herself into the passenger seat, and looks around. "Where'd you get a car from?" she asks curiously.

"I have a job, you know," he teases. He starts the car and backs out.

Skye sniffs around. “Yeah, but it’s _new_.”

He shrugs. “I got it a few weeks back. I didn’t have a car--dunno why--and felt like getting one.” It’s true. He had recollections of driving, but had never owned a car.

“So, where are we going?” she asks.

“It’s a surprise,” he tells her, “but I can promise it’ll involve a late night, sleeping in tomorrow morning, and going out for breakfast.” Grant’s sort of excited. He enjoys all their time together, but it’ll be nice to have a day where they don’t have to worry about her coworkers. “What did you tell them anyways?” he asks.

“I, uh, asked my friend to keep them off me. She’s the physician so she’ll probably come up with this ridiculous bug that no one can get close to me with or something,” she replies. “And since tomorrow is Sunday morning, I won’t be expected to fill out paperwork anyways.” He pulls one hand off the wheel so he can intertwine their fingers. “Can you at least tell me how long the drive is?”

“Two hours. Maybe an hour and a half if traffic is good.”

“ _Two_ hours?”

Grant grins. “Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

She rolls her eyes. “Of course you do.”

The drive turns out to be only an hour and a half; Grant guesses that they were lucky. They pull up to a grassy area on top of a large hill.

Skye’s quick to get out of the car. (She told him on the way there that she’s more of a plane person.) He chuckles as she rushes to see where they are. “Oh my, Grant!” He walks up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing the back of her neck. She leans into him. They’re standing on a cliff, with the ocean waves crashing below them. They made it just in time for sunset, and it’s beautiful. He doesn’t even remember when he first found this place, but when thinking about places Skye would like, it was the first thing that popped up in his mind.

She maneuvers herself around in his arms, so that she’s now facing him. “It’s amazing,” she whispers. She pushes herself up on her toes to kiss him.

_We’ve got to start somewhere._

Pulling back, he walks back to the car. “Help me unload?” She nods and walks over to the trunk with him. He’s packed a whole cooler of food, her favourite drinks (apart from Cactus Cooler; damn her obsession with a drink not found in the area), and multiple blankets.

“You are so cheesy,” she giggles. “A picnic?” He merely just gives her a content sigh, and she smiles. “I call dibs on the Sprite!”

They set up the blankets and the food accordingly so that the couple can sit close to one another and watch over the sea.

Skye moans as she bites into a sandwich. “How are you so damn good at making these?” she asks him.

Grant takes a bite himself. “Natural talent,” he gloats, which makes her laugh. “What? I have amazing culinary talents!”

“I don’t doubt it for a second,” she tells him. The smile on her face makes him shake his head gleefully. “Which is good, because I can’t cook for my life,” she says. “Which is something you--” She stops herself, and she looks really sad.

“What is it?”

_Pass the lettuce._

“Just...memories,” she replies. “There was this guy who used to always make fun of me for it. Actually, back when the team was more mobile, we’d take turns making dinner on what we jokingly called ‘family nights’. Whenever it was my turn, he’d secretly make the food for me. I’d help a little, of course. Pass him the ingredients and all that. He always said that it was to save himself from another horrendous meal.” She laughs a little at that, but there are tears in her eyes. “He’s gone now,” she specifies.

Grant places his hand over hers. “I’m sorry. If you ever want to talk about it…”

_Like I said, I’m here. My shoulder’s free._

She shakes her head. “No, it’s fine. I’ve managed to get over it.”

_Another time, maybe._

“It seems like you’re still coping.”

She shakes her head. “He’s gone, and I’ve moved forward. I still get sad over memories, but it’s passed. I’m here in the present, with you. And I love you now,” she says.

It takes a moment for him to process her words. He looks at her face, and she seems a little shocked by her own words. Now, she’s searching his face for a reaction. One that he’s still unsure of.

_I don't exactly over-analyze. I just act impulsively, and then I freak out after the fact._

He remembers the first time he saw her. It was right after he hit his head, so his vision was all blotted and blurry. He remembers how her hands felt as she cradled his head and whispered how he’ll be okay. His memory is fuzzy after that, but he knows that she had been with him the whole way to the hospital. He thinks he’s loved her since then.

“I’m sorry, that was stu--” She’s moving to stand, tears in her eyes, obviously embarrassed. He grabs her wrist and pulls her back down, and she falls onto his lap.

“I love you,” he tells her sincerely. He looks deep into her eyes, and she smiles tentatively at him. He moves forward to crash his lips to hers. She moves her position to straddle him, her hands tangled in his hair. He moans into her and wraps his arm around her waist, using the other hand to trace her side.

He doesn’t object when she pushes him onto the grass, or when she moves her hips in a way that makes him want to flip her around and fuck her senseless. He doesn’t even object when she reaches down to the hem of her shirt and pulls it up over her head. But he does gently push her back when she reaches for his belt buckle. She whines as he holds her wrists, but he presses a light kiss to her lips. “Not here.” She begins to protest when he says, “I have a hotel reservation.” 

_What do you want?_

She nods. She grabs her shirt and slips off him. “You better damn well hurry up, or I’m going to jump you.”

_What I want is to stay with you and imagine the world outside doesn’t exist._

He laughs at that.

_But it does exist._

-

  
_You get yours, I'll get mine,_   
_Then we run out of time,_   
_You're the only one that I desire,_   
_'Cause I love to play with fire._   


**Author's Note:**

> Oof, the fluff. It’s painful for me to write, I dunno why. I tend to prefer ANGST ANGST ANGST and then a semi-happy ending.
> 
> Originally, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to make this a really long oneshot or a multi-chaptered fic. After hitting 2k and realizing I’ve gone absolutely no where the plot was going to be, I decided that this will probably be around 5-6 chapters, all about this length. 
> 
> There’s a lot to come. Now let canon rain down on this fic.
> 
> If you’re familiar with any of my other works, you’ll know that I’m not afraid of cliffhangers, complicated plots, and angst. Be warned.
> 
> I hope you give this story a shot. Remember that comments fuel my fire.


End file.
